Women's merit of Torah study

Ravina says: It is certainly the merit of Torah[1], and insofar as she is not commanded[2], while it is true that she isn't commanded with the reward of her bringing her children to learn and waiting for her husband until they come from the study hall[3] does she not deserve to split their reward with them!? (Sota 21a)

This excerpt is from an extended discussion of the kind of merit which would delay the punishment of a sotah. The Gemara had already concluded that the merit must be of Torah (as opposed to other mitzvot) but was bothered since women are not obligated and therefore their reward for Torah should be less. Ravina argues that women are able to merit a high reward for Torah through the effort of bringing their children to school and of allowing their husbands to travel to foreign cities for their learning.

This Gemara is seemingly problematic. The benefit of Torah seems to be knowing the ideas, how does supporting others in their learning attain the same merit as Torah study itself? Of course supporting Torah is a great Mitzvah, but it should be on the level of other Mitzvot, and not the study of Torah.
Furthermore, what is the special significance of letting her husband leave town to learn, why is this the measure of her support?

These questions are based on the premise that the benefit of Torah study is the knowledge which is gained. However that is not the case - the real benefit from Torah and Mitzvot comes from moving our reality principle from being attached to the physical and instead grounding it in the metaphysical. By studying Torah we are valuing the development of knowledge over our physical and psychological needs. The perfection for both men and women comes from developing Ahavat Hashem - the attraction to know God[4], who is beyond the physical.

From this standpoint women are obligated in studying insofar as it allows for ahavat Hashem [5]. However in the process of recognizing a metaphysical reality more significant than the self there is another framework - mesora. Namely recognizing that our study only occurs within a national learning community which spans generations, and ultimately relates back to Sinai. From that standpoint we are not only valuing our own intellectual development but rather we are valuing the maintaining of wisdom within the Jewish community. In the framework of Mesora, men were given the responsibility of study and teaching. Therefore men recognize the superiority of mesora through their commitment to study, while women show it through encouraging those who are obligated. The women who sends her children and husband off to learn is recognizing the greater value of knowledge then her psychological desire for their presence.

This difference is related to a psychological difference between men and women [6]. Men are generally driven by the goal of individual accomplishment, therefore he must overcome that desire, by giving up on individual greatness and contributing to the mesora community. For women the greater desire is for relationships, and specifically she enjoys the attention gained from her husband and children. This attachment to her husband and children is often the strongest drive and therefore this is the area she must overcome her attachments and recognize the greater reality of wisdom[7].  Since this is so she gains the same benefit as a man would from actual study, since both of them have chosen to fulfill their obligation to the mesora community even though it means overcoming their personal desires. Thus both are developing the perfection of realizing the reality of a metaphysical world beyond the self.

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[1] which delays the punishment for the Sota
[2] And one who is not commanded is not as great as one commanded
[3] Specifically when they travel to another city to study (Rashi)
[4] to the degree man can know Him
[5] see hilchot yesodei hatorah 2:1-2, 4:12-13 and hilchot Teshuva ch 10. [also, note that in Yesodei Hatorah 4:13 the Rambam includes women in learning the discussions of Abaye and Rava]
[6] of course there will be exceptions, this is talking about the normal circumstance, as reflected in the different punishments of Adam and Chava in Bereshit 3:16-19
[7] Note this is also a contribution to the mesora community, for a treatment of role of women in the Mesora, see The essay by Rabbi Soloveitchik "The Rebbetzin of Talne"